What I have learned about Relationships Game of dating

Nowadays many younger people are lost when it comes to relationships, for me when I first started dating I was lost and I still am when it comes to relationships but I believe that i’ve learned a lot. I have been in about every type of relationship you can think of, a off and on relationship, an one way affection, a “too good to be true”, a just for the hell of it, and a Solely based on sexual attraction relationship.

First thing I’d like to talk about is something that is very confusing for many people including me. That is a off and on relationship, now we tend to get lost in these relationships because it is a emotional roller coaster from the falling in and out of love to hating them. The worst part is when you’ve finally moved on they show back up in your life then you start catching feelings again and you forget every reason that you hated this person. Now from my perspective and understanding of these types of situations this is very unhealthy. Mainly because it’s very mentally draining from being filled with loads of anger, hatred, love and affection yet still feeling empty which can lead too a long term depressed state which can affect your life in a way that you can never imagine until you experience it. My advice to anyone reading this is if it don’t work the second time then there’s no point to put yourself through the hurt.

One thing that i’ve seen cause heartache and pain for a lot of people is a one way affection relationship. Which the best way for me to explain this is a relationship where you have feelings for a person who doesn’t have feelings for you and at sometimes you will feel like you are the only one putting any effort into the relationship. Now i’ve been in a relationship exactly like this his name was T******* and when we were together he would not really ever say “i love you” in person but he would say it in text and i kinda just looked past it. Now one thing that regret is i’ve should of talk to him about the way i felt, which now i realized that there was no saving this relationship. I feel that if you are ever in a situation like this that you should just explain to your boyfriend/girlfriend how you feel mainly because if you dont you will be filled with all these emotions and in a way just feeling empty and this will probably lead to intense heartbreak.

Okay so i’m just going to jump right in to this topic because this is a very mind boggling thing for people when it comes to this. A “too good to be true” relationship is a type of relationship when you are in denial that you could actually be in a good relationship which is normally caused by dysfunctional relationships that you’ve been in, in the past. Now when you are in the mindset that your relationship is “too good to be true” you are in fear that something will go wrong because that’s what you are used to. What i would suggest in these types of relationships is to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about it trust me it will help, you are going to feel alot better after you do this no matter what the outcome is. If you just feel that you shouldn’t be in a relationship at the moment just explain that to them and breakup with them so you will have time to figure yourself out.
A just for the hell of it relationship is a very tricky type of relationship. So a way that i can describe this is a relationship that you’re just in cause why not. Which i totally understand but this can be very tricky in a way. So with these relationships you can easily emotionally hurt someone without meaning to. Now i totally understand not wanting to straight up tell someone that you are just in the relationship cause your bored but you should explain to whoever you are in a relationship in that you don’t want anything long term so that they don’t get hurt.

So a relationship solely based on sexual attraction is very common in this day and time. Now this is a relationship that the only reason that you are together is that you both are attracted to each other. Which basically in most cases means that this relationship is going nowhere and that this is a fling. The tricky part of these kinds of relationships is that you have to be careful to not develop feelings for this person because you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where you end up falling for the guy, feeling like a fool and getting hurt. So anytime that you are in a relationship that is solely based on attraction just make sure that both of you are on the same page and be careful to not develop feelings.

This world can be crazy with all of the different types of relationships you can get into. Don’t be Hesitant when it comes to dating because what do you gotta lose? The answer is nothing because no matter how the relationship ends you will have learned something from it. With love its okay to be afraid but it’s not okay to not try. Just remember this with dating and anything that you put effort in That you reap what you sow. So give everything your all as well as being careful with your emotions.

Marlie Echols
11th June, 2019