Take the opportunity to give a chance to a totally different kind of guy or pursue some little thing that interests you that you can’t quite even currently name, but that you haven’t experienced before. Commit to opening yourself up to new things and new types of people.
For years I dated the same guys. Let’s call them “the suits.”. I didn’t know that these guys were all the same until after I looked back at my dating life. I was caught up in the matrix. Other guys would approach me, but unless they were wearing a suit or a member of a “suit” profession (like a doctor), then… well, they were a no-go for me. I know that sounds extremely superficial, but it was the truth.
What I know now is that my tunnel vision did not help me in any way to get closer to the man I knew I desired. I have to keep it real; it actually pushed me further from the love I wanted. My refusal to date anyone outside of my mental box stunted my growth and kept me from learning who I am. I was stagnating.
After consciously deciding to start dating outside of the box I had put myself in, I learned so much about myself. Now, I can honestly tell you that I already thought I knew everything there was to know about me. Heck, I had been knowing me all my life. I knew the general likes and dislikes, and within my circle, we all kinda liked and did the same things, so the people around me ― from my friends to my family to the guys I dated ― had only pushed me so far outside of my comfort zone. .
After I began taking the opportunity to give a totally different kind of guy my attention, what I learned was that the movies, the park, and dinner were all great dates; but a helicopter ride, fishing, a museum visit, sailing, a day at Barnes & Noble, painting, or dancing (which I learned is my favorite date activity) were just as fun. I allowed myself the space to pursue some little thing that interested me that I couldn’t even name at the time. Once I committed to opening myself up to new things and new types of people, my life totally opened up, and I not only started to meet the kind of men I wanted to meet, I also grew new friendships. But that didn’t happen until I pushed at the limits that I had set for myself.
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